Choice... Why u so difficult...??

Choice is a bad thing.. Prioritizing is the worse thing . Free-willl - yuck!!! Life is all about a choice...And the irony of it is that your mind and your heart are poles apart when it comes to decissions.... This free will sucks.. It gets so difficult to chose what to do and how to do when you have an equal argument on either sides... I have on one hand theatre and all it activities which I love to do. Which revives in me a great deal of hope.. Which holds me together in a lot of situations..Which gives me the freedom I have been looking for.. and gives me a feeling I have never felt before. On the other hand there is committments I cant deny..commitments like church and family and choir.... what do I do about that..??. My head says the right thing is to let theatre off the hook for a few months and....Guess what... I listened to it... I wrote my sabbatical mail to YT hoping they'd allow me to get back in 3 months... But the bad feeling here is what if getting back to YT would a difficult thing to do...? O..this is so difficult... It feels like a sad breakup... O ..How I wish I could be sure that I could join in 3 months and I wouldn't miss too much of action. Signing off, Choosing Merry.